Restlessly, to and fro he paced around her silent dead body,--almost analogous to a hungry or hurt lion; --hands clasped behind his back. It was an ill day for him, and his spirit and his strength"strength that needed to be restored"both seeped out of his body. [Short-Legs] The imperfections of my brain did not allow me to make discoveries quickly, but when I awoke the following morning, things were more logical, the morning after my mother's death that is; somehow I had ripened to the grieving process"still feeling somewhat desolate, but adjusting. Actually, I, Short-legs didn't know-for the most part"there was such a thing as a grieving process, and possibly I may have been the first one to bring this to its truest nature within the Horde that is to declare it, as those around me watched me, it was a discovery for all of us. Yes we grieved, unconsciously though before, but not tears were coming, among other expressions of love, hurt and sadness. Like a lion to her cub, or a wolf to its mate, I sensed we were becoming more human. Integration The People of the Fire were also becoming extinct, like us; we were all being integrated into one global-class, intended or not but so it seemed, and so it was. In time, I knew there would be only one culture left, one assemblage of people, the Stone-People [Builders] that was my guess. Yet it was further down the road to be. As the years went by, I sat in my cave and watched this all happening, Little-eyes, had married a female [Lucia] from the Branch-People's sect, and escaped down to the Great River. He had found huge cut out rocks, blocks of stone, brownstone [of sand and mud] fossilized, in which he was going to make a cave out of, kind of a cave that is, for there were no cliffs along the banks of the river to speak of; rather he'd try to make a similar one to the structures of the People of the Fire had. But after witnessing the creatures within the structure of the stones, he feared one day they'd wake up and eat him. For one had sharp teeth of the same kind to a sharks, yet it was puzzling for him, because it was a four-legged beast [he had no idea animals died, were washed down the river only to be embedded into a stone grave, or better put a grave of stone]. Hence, he darted back to the trees along the river banks, never forgetting to let me know when I visited him, that he had seen a meat-eater in stone, momentarily dead he reminded me, as if it was going to wake up some day and dominate the river front. Evidently, these stones were cut by the Stone-Builders, and unusable for/to them: they left them along the river bank, in a pile as high as a small hill, or mound. He: Little-eyes, was not the wiser for doing this, that is, for making the decision to live by the giant tree that extended over the river, this whole area was known as: grassy waters [swampland]; --it was a sea of grass, an island hammocks, and trees, [cypress]; for he was not used to the water-and swampy areas, and was often unguarded; as a result, he was killed by a gigantic snake that crept up high into the huge leafy tops of the Bald Cypress, some 170-feet up. The tree extended into the river itself, and similar to an earthquake, it fell from its lofty branch, crushing down upon his bones: the impact killed him instantly, at which time it: the snake, devoured him whole, yes, swallowing him completely, sum total: as his wife stood by as a witness"stunned, staggered, frozen like an ice-sheet. I had seen reptiles like that before though, they were ancient, and similar to all the reptiles they never stopped eating or growing"with no exaggeration I say this"they measured over eighty-foot long: monstrous snakes, larger around than our kind's waist, in circumference. In any case, one must be alert in such swampy areas, the foliage being so thick one cannot expect to see but a foot in front of one; I know Little-eyes had gone there to provide a more stable life for him and his family, but it was to no avail, and I suppose even the great creatures needed to eat, do they not [?] it is as it is, the cycle of life you know, like the cycle of water. It is expected, we give ourselves to the land, to the creatures to live on; for the sky nourishes the river, and the river nourishes the fish, and the fish nourishes us, and this goes into the seas, thus feeding all its creatures along its coast. Yet I was sad, but not as sad as I was the day my mother died: and sad for his wife. Sometimes these creatures, with smooth bellies, --snakes as they now are called: I seem to have a hard time remembering that name"often called worms in the old days, actually I was more familiar with the term worm than snake as you already know, as I have mentioned before, 'snake,' was a word from the 'Stone-People,' of course. My father called them simply, 'no-legs:' in any event, these reptiles without legs looked like the great-roots of the huge trees that they crept up and around in these marshes: down and under the banks of the rivers and lakes they also lived, [hard to tell the snake from the roots at times often times], who would be wise enough to spot them in their camouflage designs if one was not wise to their environment. I, for one, would not challenge myself to live in such a place, for I have lived in caves all my life, and I hold the philosophy: if you know nothing about it, why compete, meaning, why struggle, battle, or for that matter, try to win something that is un-winnable, and at the moment, at this time it would have be so,--again I say, 'why live here in the river swamp,' but I do not belittle those that do, they have their reasons. To be honest, not even the Branch-People liked this area that much and they were more familiar with these kinds of environments than the Horde: the quicksand, the trying thick: foliage, shrubbery, undergrowth: and the snakes, the water creatures, the hard roots all over the place, all over the ground"growing inches above the ground, --when you walked you had to walk on roots, roots, roots, big and snake like roots, your feet would hurt, and you'd bust a toe now and then, or a toe nail, get it infected and there goes the good natured humor Horde-lit". I know the Horde liked me because I lived kind of a free-and-easy lie style, which was a constant delight and joy for them for some odd reason, and they all knew my general laugh which was for the most part good-natured, but had I moved down there, I fear that that representation I just gave of me would of dissolved quite, hurriedly. Sad to say but it's true, his wife and child were then taken in by the People of the Fire for breeding purposes, I can't blame them for that neither, it was a way to keep your people's future in-tack. Lucia [Wife to Little-eyes] It came to pass that I'd learn [I being: Short-legs], things were not always as they looked, and things did not always point to happiness because one had a fancy for a female. In particular for a purely feminine creature as Lucia was, one might think happiness would never end, and up to the death of Little-eyes, I guess they were content, but it did end; --or for that matter, pick anyone from the Horde"for happiness, or call it happy days, in all cases, they had happy days to speak of, and in one way or another, all come to meet their ends and were separated from their mates, all by the way of a loss: mates being stolen or being killed, or taken and raped, or dying by childbirth, or a husband going hunting, looking for food and never returning"I had learned in-addition, death was also a constant. For the most part, happiness was found in the bush, or so that was how I've initially seen it, or felt about it, yes, the obvious"as I, Short-legs observed"specifically, female sex taken by the males at will often times, and at other times the females using their feminine-web to capture her mate. It was a game that went in circles, a game I could not play. I think the single women lived longer, and the married men lived longer, but to be truthful, no one lived that long. The young females believed things would always turn out eventually, turn out well that is. But as I, I, Short-legs noticed, they just could not shut their eyes to certain disturbing facts"and so I avoided any haughty long-term engagements with them"should they want to make it permanent, and marry me [although marry or marriage is not the correct word, rightfully, a mutual-bondage would be more suitable]. Marriage was simply ownership of the female, like one would own a cave; it was yours if you could keep it. Yes, things were changing, and we were thinking differently"I suppose somewhere down the time-line, women would own men, and children would dominate families, and civilizations would demand the rights for children, or put the family members in a grave of stone. Now if a child disobeyed a parent, he was stoned to death, a rightful penalty for ingratitude. Yet still, some thought [even during the stoning process, and them dying right at one's feet] their parents owed them something more than life, when in essence, they gave them life and that is all they owed them, and what they owed was obedience, but gave nothing. But I have seen children scorn men: yes O yes, this is really true: the children of the Stone-Builders, spoiled as a donkey. I would have fed them to the snakes, as would any of the Horde-member. [But as you know, I never took a permanent mate in my dream, me being Short-legs, which was, nor did I have children that I knew of: thank goodness.] Lucia's Loss [Short-legs deliberates] I might be a bit harsh on Lucia, in that she did take it hard, a little hard when Little-eyes found his fate: she, Lucia seemed to have a ridiculous weakness, almost instinctive, as if she was no longer fond of life"after his death, as if taking her life would be a great escape. I had looked deep into her eyes with a strange curiosity, leaving it ajar"her, her eyes that is, being half open"as if to say: I no longer want to carry a burden, she wanted to throw her life away, thus, perceiving her existence as a weight on her mind, or so I gathered. That made me sad. It is hard to feed the serpent that wants to eat you, but I think that is how Lucia felt. But I Short-legs, explained to her saying: "You have a large amount of information in your head, along with observations to share with the living: with your eyes; therefore, you must shift your life, and tell your stories to help others; --for we have all at one time or another cursed existence." And so, she went back to the 'People of the Fire,' and lived her life out. [The Dreamer] So all told, he [he: being Short-legs] considered all facts, and mated with himself in the sense of remaining uncommitted [or single], and kept his relationships short lived at best with whom he'd get fond of. To his friends he was particular who he slept with, and seldom did he--, but he did, and to his friends he was considered the free and happy one [as mentioned before]; for what he knew of happiness, it was being free, as free as free could be that is, and his freedom, so he said, was like the sparrows. In all respects, the result of his pondering ways on the subject of mating and sex, allowed him to have unmixed pleasure just watching the Horde's residents bickering with their companions. No, not any apprehensiveness ever clouded his mind on this subject thereafter, in respect of doubting if that was the way to live. It was the way his mother lived, yes, and his way: he had a father, one that sat in the tree [s], in fear that she would throw him back into the tree should he stay too long in the cave with his eerie ways. For Short-legs, as it was for the Horde, and as it seemed to be for the Branch-People, and somewhat for the People of the Fire, simply living from day to day, feeding oneself was par for the course"disparity, at its cross-roads, if not just plane out drudger"and that was enough responsibility. It did bring happiness though, life that is, and laughs, but also dread, and shorten lives for many, should one not be guarded, or weaken by taking the wrong paths at the wrong time, especially at night when all ears listened, and all eyes waited for the unprotected, he was, or could be the next victim. Brotherhood Stern-toes [my brother] now came to live with me in my cave; we had not spent much time together ever since childhood, but now it was to be. We had played together much, when we were very young, ran here and there together, jumping from tree to tree, then he got involved with an older group in the Horde, and then he married. He had lost his wife somewhere along the line, no proof of anything, she just never returned one day"I think the Stone-People got her, but then I always think that I suppose. None the less, I do think they killed her for sport, you see they liked to kill, even though they have no need or motive for it, only some kind of compulsion; --for the sake of the need, thus they invent, create their motive and reason after the fact, so that they can stand proud and boast later on. Yes, yes, I surely they want to stand proud in front of their children and say something to the effect: I had to use my keen strength and skill to kill this female primate or whatever: I had no choice. And then his family will be proud of him, proud of such a man, and his feat, saying their father in the dangers of the jungle fought the foe to its death"that is what I call turtle-crap. But that again, are just my thoughts, my talking-s, leastways I have no way to prove it. Often times our folk would leave the Horde never to return: as I have implied previously, so this again could be put into another category of simply being lost. We never questioned this, it was common, and not as common as it would seem now, now that the predominant culture was the Stone-Builders. Who knows how one dies, gets killed, it was normal, and expected, no one really grew old, --well, there has been a few exceptions, only a few to my recollection. [The Dreamer] Stern-toes never did remarry, and left the females to themselves; as Short-legs had done all his life. Stern-toes had two females, or was it three: children of his [?] I can't remember. And now, reminiscent of when they were young, they were back together again. They had now three-females left in the Horde, and four males, to include Stern-toes and his brother: seven of them in sum total. After several more years, it would come to pass, that the People of the Fire would have taken the other three women of theirs, and the old timers would have died off, all yet to be in time"the near future. [Short-legs] At this juncture of our history, there was now just my brother and I in the whole Horde: there was no Horde to speak of at this point, I expect one could say. As for the People of the Fire, they could careless if we lived or died, we were in our late 40's, quite old now: of no use to anyone anymore. The Stone-Builders had seen us at times on top of the cliffs, looking down upon the valley, aimlessly looking, likewise, paid us little attention, if any mind at all. As time went on, I didn't see very much courage in the new breed either, courage as I would define it anyhow, that being like Big-chest had, for he did not do anything by luck, he did not believe in it, in luck that is, and that was courage to me, he threw luck to the stars, and faced what he needed to, wanted to"head on. The new breed, or Stone-Builders, coupled with the interbreeding masses, were killers with weapons, which took less courage, maybe that is why they killed more: sly they were not, nor witty, just: malevolence, ill will, evil: some fools would even"terrorize in a suicide manner the enemy"giving up their lives for the king so he could get fat and ugly off the proceeds. I call this: dinosaur-head-washed [or brainwashed]; they would put themselves on fire and then go into a community"people would come out to see the spectacle, and when they did, the soldiers hiding would come out and kill the watchers. Plus, some would even allow themselves to be buried alive with their king, a holy sacrifice, and others would"believe it or not"would willingly walk up to a sacrificial alter, lay down while another cut his hear out, or his child's heart out. What was this all coming to I asked me"and I didn't get an answer. [Short-legs' affirmations] Says I, one day to Little-eyes and to several folks around the Banana Cave, to whomever was listening [for they were curious about my brother's blinking of his eyes and drawing pictures after the blinks]: said I, in an explaining manner: my brother Stern-toes' love of time and place"is what it is all about, that saying: who can make an angle with the sun or moon, trap it, where it be, where it shall never run away"this is art I fear [I told them, something new"something he did well] thus, he shall twice die [I confirmed to them], leaving his pictures, fingerprints behind on the walls of caves and all such places: it will tell of our lives lived here [the Horde's folks looked strange at me, but smiled, to live on was a new invention also]. For myself, I gave details: I will write on the walls what I have felt and learned, put into a language I've yet to contrive: I will make clear the wretched screams from the wretched hearts that have caused so much pain in this day and age"explain: one need not remember their deaths, for all they do now, or will do, is be heard in echoes between empty caves in the valley, for they are of little relevance now to anyone, now that they are gone, merely an echo in a world that was glad to get rid of them [the kings, the Begetter"the demon all such inhabitants], so reason and love can prevail. They were of no value here"I will not explain this, just write it, nor will be wherever their residue hereafter. This is all I have to say on the walls of time. |
