It has been reported by the American Psychological Association that during meetings 68 percent of the participants are thinking about events in their lives unrelated to the meeting. 20 percent of the participants are actually paying attention, and only 12% are really listening. More than likely, you as a salesperson truly understand less than half of what your customer is telling you. Effective listening is critically important to our sales success. Through effective listening we will be in a position to better understand our sales opportunities and customers needs. Before we learn the two primary techniques of Listening To Understand, we should first be aware of the reasons why it is difficult for all of us to listen 100% of the time. Why We Dont Listen We have all spent years learning how to read, write and speak, but have never been instructed on effective listening skills. We have been given two ears and but a single mouth in order that we may hear more and talk less - Zeno of Citium. Most people listen carefully for only a small percentage of the time theyre with others. It is impossible for us to listen all of the time for the following reasons: Listening overload: Many of us spend half the time we are awake listening. We listen to family, friends, co-workers etc for about five hours a day. Add this to the time we listen to radio and television you can see it is impossible for us to be completely engaged in listening for this amount of time. Therefore, our attention will wander. Preoccupation: We are more concerned and occupying our thoughts with other more important issues. Psychological: Listening carefully is difficult from a psychological standpoint. We are capable of understanding speech at rates up to 600 words per minute. The average person speaks between 100 and 140 words per minute; therefore the excess time is usually spent thinking about personal issues or mentally preparing your next statement as opposed to concentrating on the speaker to understand their message. Distractions: The physical environment can present distractions that make it hard to listen. A hot stuffy room, traffic, discomfort and a noisy crowded location are examples of physical limitations on our ability to listen and concentrate. Assumptive listening: We often make incorrect assumptions, which lead to beliefs that the conversation is either too simplistic or too difficult. In these situations, we stop listening. What we should be doing is listening to understand the message. A final assumptive mistake is our belief that the subject or person is unimportant and we stop paying attention. Talking is more gratifying: The reality is that most of us like to talk. When we are talking some believe we can control others thoughts, gain admiration and respect and even release energy or frustrations. Talking about problems can sometimes make us feel better by working out our problems with others. Lack of training: A common misbelieve is that listening is like breathing, an activity that people do well naturally. Listening is a skill just like speaking, everybody does it, but few do it well. Listening To Understand Effective listening takes place during 2 way communication. The important element that distinguishes Two-way communication from One -Way communication is verbal feedback. Verbal feedback occurs when the listener sends verbal responses to the speaker about their conversation. In essence we are attempting to eliminate misunderstanding. The key to Listening To Understand is to use verbal feedback to eliminate misunderstandings. Verbal feedback can be in the form of asking clarifying questions or paraphrasing Clarifying questions: This type of response involves asking for additional information to clarify your understanding of their message. Typical questions for your might be exploratory to understand more about their needs and to elaborate on what they said to ensure we have a clear understanding. Lets say your customer is interested in your product but states that a portable version would be nice. The customers definition of portable may be different than yours. Maybe even the definition of nice. Next consider the likelihood that when your customer said portable they meant wearable or small enough to fit on our body like a small portable hand held device. Maybe your company offers several portable versions. You now understand the customer has needs are for a portable unit and not a stationary unit. You ask the question to qualify that the customer has clearly identified their needs for the portable version. Therefore you ask a question something like So, I understand the stationary unit does not satisfy your needs, however the portable version does, is that correct? Clearly if you parted after this exchange, you and your customer would have a misunderstanding. The problem here is that questions did not help understand the speakers meaning of portability. We thought we clearly understood the customers need for a portable unit as opposed to a stationary unit. However the question did not verify our understanding of the customers meaning of portability Paraphrasing: Paraphrasing is another type of feedback, one that would qualify your understanding before asking any additional questions. This feedback involves restating in your own words the message you thought the speaker just sent. Paraphrase your customers words, not parrot them. Restate what you think the customer said in your own words as a way of verifying your interpretation. In the example we used above, paraphrasing may sound like So, your needs for our portable system would be to allow you to drive to the job site, and roll the system to the work area, is that it? Immediately sensing the problem the customer would reply, Oh no, I need a wearable system that I can put in my back pack while I climb a 50ft ladder to the worksite. Did I say portable, I meant wearable. This simple step of restating what you thought the speaker has said before going on is a very important tool for effective listening. |
