It's Friday night, you're sitting at a restaurant, and as your meal arrives, the server says, "Now, don't touch that plate. It's hot." What's the first thing you do? Well, 99% of the time you're going to touch that plate, right? I call it the 99% rule. It's closer to 100%, but I give myself a little "out" for those who wish to find a loophole in it. After years of studying human behavior, I've come up with a few of these 99% rules that I wish to share with you today. Looking for these common denominators in everyday conversation will help you read between the lines more quickly. When someone starts a sentence with it's not, they're usually trying to tell you what something really is without hurting your feelings. When someone starts a sentence with I don't, they're trying to direct you without hurting your feelings. Here are some examples of the first rule in action. When they say, "It's not you, it's me," they're trying to tell you that it is you. (Since I date quite a bit, I hear this one quite often!) When they say, "It's not that you're too short," they're trying to tell you that they think you are too short. When they say, "It's not that I have a drinking problem," what probably comes out of their mouth next is a story about how they drank too much. Get the picture? But please don't take my word for this. Listen for yourself. It will amaze you. Here's how I use the 99% rule in everyday activity to help me cut to the chase and find out what's really on someone's mind. Let's say a salesperson comes into my office and begins his sentence with, "It's not that we're trying to raise money, we're simply trying to help you gain a new product line for your corporation." Now, whatever comes out of his mouth next doesn't really make a difference, because I know by using the 99% rule that he really wants to raise money. So I would interrupt him mid-sentence and say, "Listen, you need money, and I could use the product. Forget the five dollars that you want for each unit. I'll save us both time and give you what you could really use: two dollars each. Do you want it?" You see, once you master listening to what people are actually trying to tell you, it puts you in control and it can save a lot of heartache in the long run. The other example I mentioned was the phrase I don't. When someone starts a sentence with I don't, the 99% rule tells you that they're actually trying to direct you without hurting your feelings. Here are some examples. "I don't want to tell you how to raise your children, but . . ." "I don't want to tell you how to drive, but . . ." "I don't want you to take my side, but . . ." See what I mean? Now go out and use this information for yourself. Try it out with your friends, business associates, and dates. They'll be amazed at how well you can read them, and you'll look like a star by simply using and applying the 99% rule. Keep Smilin' ************************************ You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated - send to: GregReid@AlwaysGood.com |
