Would you like to make half your worries go away in less than half an hour? Some skepticism is fine, but this simple exercise could change your mind. Make two columns. In the left column, write down your worry. One at a time, big or small. Build a nice long list, and when you think you're done, push yourself for another worry. Don't worry about what makes the right kind of worry for your list. Just work quickly and get this list made. Next, review your list. In the right hand column make a check mark if the worry is something you can control. For instance, if you smoke and you worry about your health, make the check mark. You may run into some worries where you aren't quite sure how much control you have. For example, your sister is worrying you because she's about to marry somebody you are convinced will break her heart. You suspect that if only you could talk some sense into her she would see the light and break off the engagement. In these situations where your ability to control a bothersome situation is doubtful, do not check it off. While you could certainly have a candid talk with your sister, her reaction to it is beyond your control. If you are worried that the weird noise in your car will worsen and grow into an expensive problem if you don't get your car into the shop, but money is short and you need to put off repairs, put a check mark on this worry. If you're worried that the electric bill will be outrageous or that your brother will flunk out of school, get those on the list. The only worries that don't belong are the brief, fleeting worries. So spend a few minutes working on your list. Put the check marks where they belong. Once the check marks are next to the worries you actually have the ability to can do something about, cross everything else off the list. Now, consider this. The issues you have checked off probably don't deserve a prominent place in your thoughts. Do what you can to stop thinking about them. Let's look at what's left. Now you can turn these from worries into less threatening, less bothersome thoughts. Downgrade them by making the decision to act on each of them. These are your legitimate issues... once the spotlight is on them, you have the ability to give them the consideration they deserve. You can start making new lists and deciding the best way to deal with these issues. The best way to tuirn a worry into an issue is to give it careful thought. And a little research won't hurt. Here's an example. Perhaps you find yourself more and more worried about growing old. If you spend time doing some research and learning about aging, you will probably discover that worrying about growing old just makes things worse. Researchers at Yale University, lead by Dr. Becca Levy, have found that looking forward to old age can actually add an average of 7.6 years to your life. So try this exercise. It will only take a few minutes, but it has the potential to make the rest of the day more pleasant. Who knows... it may even add a few years to your life. And after you have completed this exercise, remember that we all have worries, we all have pain, and we all find our own ways to cope. Eliminating half your so-called worries and paying attention to the ones you have the ability to change can make coping less stressful, life less painful, and your mind a richer place to fertilize positive, comforting thoughts. As Alice Foote MacDougall puts it, You realize the futility of worry. You learn to hate the small and the little. Life is a pie which you cut in large slices, not grudgingly, not sparingly. You know your limitations and proceed to eliminate them; your abilities, and proceed to develop them. You are free. |
