Possibly you have come across the saying:
Watch your thoughts; they become your words Watch your words; they become your actions Watch your actions; they become your habits Watch your habits; they become your character Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. It raises a number of extra points worth considering. The first point is how the spoken word can affect the person who hears it. Words can have strong emotional attachments which, depending on your own personal history, can be quite strong. If a significant person in your life used a particular word regularly, chances are that word will have a great deal more meaning for you than can be found in its dictionary definition. For example, a pet name for someone you love deeply, spoken at a deeply intimate moment will almost invariably take on a special meaning. On the other hand, a name used as a put down, spat out by an opponent in a highly volatile situation will also have a strong emotional attachment. But emotional attachments can be given to any word when used in a situation where you have strong emotions at the time. For example my mother died of cancer. Although it was a long time ago, I still have strong emotional attachments to that word. ( as many people do) That fact was brought home to me recently when I received the results of the pathology test on a small, insignificant growth I had removed from my face. "Cancer"the doctor said. He had to repeat the rest of what he said, because I had only heard that one word. I still remember the whole range of emotions I felt as I sat in that doctor's surgery. I was reliving some of the emotional turmoil I felt as almost twenty years earlier, I watched helplessly while my mother slowly slipped away. It's knowing what those attachments are, and the reasons why they are there that gives you control over them, rather than them having control over you. The second point about words I would like to touch on, if only briefly, is the breadth of your vocabulary; the number of words you have available for every day use. You use words to express yourself. As an infant, you did not have the range of words you needed, and so, perhaps you would resort to tantrums to express yourself. As an adult, though, a tantrum is not really acceptable. The expectation is that you will be able to express yourself as an adult, that is, with words. But what if you don't have the words you need to express all that is going on in your life? Chances are you will become frustrated and somewhat anti-social in your behavior. Earl Nightingale also suggests your mastery of the language will determine your place in the overall scheme of things, because it is the one thing you cannot hide. You can present a powerful image with your clothing. There are any number of self-professed consultants who will show you how to 'power dress" No matter who you are, if you have the money, you can buy a really flash car, you can live in the trendiest of locations etc, etc, etc. But a person's external image can come crashing down once they open their mouth. Do you find that to be the case for you? Now, I'm not suggesting for one moment you undertake some sort of Pygmallion transformation (a la My Fair Lady) but the question I want to put to you is. Does the way you speak reflect who you really believe yourself to be or is it more of a stumbling block to you being recognised by others as that person? Well, I personally find that the best use for a stumbling block is to stand on top of it so you get a better view of the best way forward! In other words, do something about it. You are the only one who can change the way you speak. No-one else can do it for you. As is often the case, if you want it done, you're the one! |
